


there’s nothing left inside for me to break

by brodinsons (aeon_entwined)



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 14:46:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeon_entwined/pseuds/brodinsons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>January 12, 2025: the day Hercules Hansen lost everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there’s nothing left inside for me to break

He lost his son for the first time the day Scissure attacked Sydney.

He loses his son for the last time at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean eleven years later.

There are no final words exchanged, no promises, no goodbyes. They were never very good at communicating when Max was taken out of the picture. Herc supposes this is how Chuck would have always wanted it. Between standing and waiting for the end of the world and going down fighting in a jaeger, there was never any question which option Chuck would have chosen.

Herc bows his head as he listens to Chuck retelling one of his more enduring mottos for Stacker, and he can almost see Stacker's half smile.

Then, it's over.

Just like that.

One minute, he could hear his son and the greatest man he'd ever known running through their final protocols, the next, the endless hum of white noise.

Mako and Raleigh launch themselves into the Breach, the escape pods eject, Gipsy Danger's detonation severs the bridge and destroys the Breach. They've won. He forces himself to focus on that, and only that, until he turns to the assembled crowd and orders the war clock stopped. The ensuing cheers would be infectious if he didn't feel as though he was suddenly drowning.

He feels it the moment his guard goes down; the places that Chuck and Stacker had carved out in his mind suddenly ripped away, leaving the wounds gaping and raw.

Herc fumbles for the edge of the conn table, bracing himself on his good arm as the searing agony lances through him, telling him that the rest of his family is gone. And he is alone.

Tendo's there almost instantly, one hand braced against his shoulder blade and the other on his upper arm while he helps Herc to stand back up. Herc gasps wetly, trying to stave off the inevitable as his vision starts blurring.

"It's okay, man," Tendo says in a quiet undertone. "Take as long as you need. We'll still be here."

Sometimes, he wonders how they managed to make friends like this. Because that's how the Shatterdome works. It's a military instillation for all intents and purposes, but when it comes to the living, breathing humans coming together to keep it functioning, they're a family. Everyone understands the loss of a jaeger and its crew, everyone understands the Resistance is fighting for their lives and the life of every human on the planet every damn day. The understanding is what makes them cohesive. The compassion is what makes them a force of nature.

Herc makes it to his rooms without really remembering how he got there. He manages to get the door shut, then slumps against it, his knees giving way as he crumples to the floor.

Wet, gasping sobs wrack his entire frame as he covers his face with his good hand, tears streaming hot down his cheeks as the ache in his mind doubles in intensity. Herc can feel it everywhere; there isn't a single part of him that came out of losing his son and his other half intact.

Anyone who writes ghost drifting off can get fucked, honestly. He knows what he felt. Just as he knows, if he concentrates hard enough, he can hear their voices as if they're standing right next to him. It was never as immediate with Chuck as it was with Stacker, but he puts that down to their blatant inability to communicate as anything but strangers. His time piloting the prototype jaegers in 2014 with Stacker solidified a connection they'd never been able to break. Nor did they want to.

Then came the cancer, the retirement, the reassignments, the loss of support, and finally, the Breach.

They both knew their time was limited. Herc just wasn't quite prepared for Stacker telling him that he's going where Herc can't follow. He barely had time to prepare for hearing his son say the same thing minutes later, but perhaps not in so many words.

He'd kissed Stacker in the Shatterdome; slow and lingering because it was the last one they'd share in this lifetime. Then he'd held Max's leash and waved to his son as they disappeared to climb up to Striker's Conn-Pod.

Herc drags himself out of the mental replay, still gasping for air and scrubbing at his eyes until the lids feel raw. 

He has to get back to LOCCENT soon. Sort out the debriefs, prep the med bay to receive Mako and Raleigh, take over everything Stacker should be doing.

His throat tightens and Herc rests his temple against the cool metal of his door.

When the other half of the drift severs, it's not like losing a limb. It feels like losing your soul.

**Author's Note:**

> First toddler steps into the fandom. Of course I fell in love with the hot damaged dads, no surprise there. I think this is just trying to get a feel for Herc's character with the added dimension of a more intimate relationship with Stacker.
> 
> Will there be less tragedy and more sex in the future? Only time will tell.


End file.
